


Sick in the Mind

by wxrmstachio



Category: The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Anorexia, Depression, Eating Disorders, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-25
Updated: 2018-05-24
Packaged: 2019-05-13 12:44:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14749112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wxrmstachio/pseuds/wxrmstachio
Summary: Okay so, I've only read the first book in the Mortal Instruments series, but I thought Malec was so cute that I just had to write it, but more heartbreaking.





	Sick in the Mind

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so, I've only read the first book in the Mortal Instruments series, but I thought Malec was so cute that I just had to write it, but more heartbreaking.

Alec Lightwood hated himself. He hated himself for being gay, he hated himself for having never killed a demon, and he hated himself for never being good enough. So it wasn't much of a surprise when he found himself kneeling in front of a toilet bowl with his first two fingers down his throat. He already felt dizzy from not having eaten anything in seventy-two hours, but he felt a migraine coming on as soon as he expelled the first round of bile. He knew he couldn't keep living like this, but he also knew that he couldn't ask for help. This was like no other demon that he had ever come into contact before; it was inside of him. It _was_ him. How could he expect to fight himself?

He was broken, and he knew it. He knew it, and it hurt him.

He lay down on the cold bathroom tile and wondered -- not for the first time -- why he was doing this to himself. He'd broken his fast with a fucking protein bar, for Christ's sake. He was purging a goddamn _protein bar_. As he was staring at the ceiling, black spots began to interrupt his vision. They grew larger and larger, until black was all he could see.

* * *

"Alec?" Jace dropped to his knees and used his momentum to slide across the bathroom floor. "Alec, are you--?"

He was going to ask if Alec were okay, but his question seemed to have been answered when he found that Alec was unconscious. He reflexively pressed two fingers to Alec's neck and felt for a pulse. It was weak, but undeniably present.

"Izzy!" he called out, hoping Isabelle could hear him from wherever she was. "Izzy, it's Alec!"

It took her a moment to arrive, and when she did, she looked pale and worried. Her gaze immediately fell upon Alec. "W-what happened to him?"

It was out of character for Isabelle to stutter, but when it came to her older brother, it didn't seem to matter as much. "I'm not sure," Jace answered.

"He's so pale," Isabelle breathed.

"We need to take him to the Infirmary," Jace said matter-of-factly as he begun to scoop Alec into his arms.

Alec's head lolled to the side and Jace readjusted so that it was resting against his shoulder. He felt surprisingly light, Jace noticed, and pointed this out to Isabelle as he began walking the familiar path to the Infirmary.

"Do you know whether he's been eating?" she asked. "He's always refusing the food I make, but I just thought.."

"Yeah, well your cooking is pretty terrible, to say the least."

"Shut up, Jace. Do you know if he's eaten anything else recently?"

Jace thought back to the past few days, and he was surprised when he couldn't remember seeing Alec eat a single food item. He was always making coffee, or green tea, or chewing gum, but never eating. "No, I don't think so."

"Oh, my God," Isabelle said, her eyes welling up with tears.

"You don't think..." Jace started, but he saw the look in her tearful eyes. "But that's a mundane disorder, Izzy!"

"It doesn't matter," she said as they reached the Infirmary. She held the doors open for him as he carried Alec inside and laid him down on one of the sterilized cots.

"We should call Magnus," Jace said. "He helped Alec last time he was injured, didn't he?"

"Yeah," Isabelle said, gazing sadly at her brother. "Yeah, he did."

"Then he can help again," Jace said resolutely, and strode out of the room.

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me what you think! Also, would you prefer longer chapters that are posted less often, or shorter chapters that are posted more frequently?


End file.
